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HollowYears
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Name: Amy
Gender: Female
Interests: music/singing, art, eating, writing, reading, cats, laughing, internetting, driving, videogaming, running, sleeping, painting, etc.
Message: message me
AIM:  amy pshh
Member Since:
3/11/2007
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| i'm going to stay optimistic. i'm saving up for the Canada trip, i'm going to go! I AM! /screams like a crazy person
seriously... i'm so determined. i'm going to pick up more hours at work, my mom said she would help with some funds. even ian will give me a little money to help as well. so i think everything will be alright. tomorrow or next week, i think i'm going to go start the process for my passport. definitely going to need that... i wish i knew people who had little kids so i could babysit them. maybe i'll go about petsitting. any ideas to make some quick extra money? | | |
| ugh. it's really stressful not being able to do the things i want to do because of money. it fucking sucks... i always meet people who have it good and have money. or their parents have money. i have neither. and i'm so sick of it.
i want to go to Canada SO badly with my boyfriend for Christmas. is that going to happen? the outcome is looking very very very bleak. plane tickets are so expensive... and i'd need to get a passport. so i'm pretty much fucked, and it makes me extremely sad. he went somewhere last year too and i was stuck babysitting the puppy during Christmas. alone.
so i'm just extremely frustrated and sad. this sucks so much. maybe if the loan i applied for like a fucking month and a half ago would finally come through, THEN i'd be able to go. but as of now, i'm too broke and i'm unable to purchase a plane ticket or get a passport. and it makes me feel very depressed. i'm so jealous of ian for that. he gets to go to awesome places with his family, it's like they don't care about money. i wish i could be carefree about it. it's so annoying. so very annoying.
someone robbed the bank of america by my house today, maybe i should do that too. maybe that robber was in the same situation as me and was desperate to get out of this place. i guess i know how he feels.
blah. | | |
| it's true, but at the same time... no one ever reads this. ): read me damnit! i'm cool! D:
well, let's see... life, hmm. life's been alright, i have my love again (obviously) it's always great to have that boy in my life, i adore him more than kittens. and that says a lot. things have been well with him and i. he's going through sort of a depression however. mostly stress related with school, his mother, and work. but i try to keep his spirits up, sometimes he's stubborn though and just likes to sulk. i think he's getting sick though ): poor baby.
and hm, with me? school and work pretty much. i'm taking anthropology, psychology, and a songwriting class. not very exciting really. next spring i'm going to focus on pure general ed classes so i can transfer to a CSU and get out of community college! gah. i'm so sick of being there... it's just lame. i really need to focus and try harder.
work is good, i've been getting a good amount of hours, i got my raise this past monday! whoooo (: two people were fired however. it's funny, one of the people was my friend that actually got me the job at starbucks... haha, kind of odd. but oh well, he's glad he doesn't work there anymore.
halloween's coming up... and i have no plans. how sad. i know of a few parties, but i don't know if i want to go to them or not. tomorrow i'm going to some shindig one of my more "innocent" friends are throwing. i guess their parents have a yearly halloween party with friends/family/neighbors, so why not see how that is. if it's lame, i can always bail and go to a dance party that's happening the same time and same night. don't know though, still thinking about it. i'm going to be a gothic ragdoll (: i'm using all my old gothy clothes i used to wear. i love the gothic look, i just don't dress that way much anymore. i do still wear a good taste of black however. but yeah, i'm putting those old clothes to use this halloween. maybe i'll crimp my hair too! (:
i might be going to canada, specifically vancouver this christmas! i'm so stoked! ian has family out there so we'd be staying with them. i've never been to canada, let alone out of the country (tijuana does NOT count). i hope i'll be able to go... that will be amazing. i hope it's somewhat cheap, or i hope his mother helps with my ticket. i need to get my passport, i'm capable of paying for that. eeeeek cross your fingers people! wish on a star for me (:
well, until next time... peace! | | |
| and two months later, ian and i are back together. we got back together friday. it's a long story that i don't feel like explaining at the moment. but i have grown so much since the night he ended us. it's insane. this time it's different though, a good kind of different. we barely spoke to eachother in the past couple months, and when we did, it was usually not a good conversation. he was so angry, so full of hurt. so i was. but i couldn't hate him.
but i wouldn't trade the pain for what i learned. at all. i'm glad it happened now.
because i'm so much better now.
life works in such mysterious ways.
<3.
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| ian and i broke up. this time it's permanent.
it's for the best. but i feel dead. so very dead.
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